If you wish to experience life in all its fullness, you have to leave the past behind together with all the failures, shortcomings and feelings of despondency you may have had.

Learn how to relieve yourself from the pain, regrets and bitterness from yesterday’s conflict. Holding on to them will only dampen your mood and affect your whole life, from your attitude to interpersonal relationships and your job even. Negativity results into loss of self-esteem and unhappiness.

All hope is not lost, however. The past is over; look forward to the future. You are not meant to live in pain no matter what happened and how hurt you’ve been. Cast off your burdens so you can be free. You deserve to be free.

The following five steps can take you forward and gain the freedom that will allow you to enjoy life as it should be lived - in peace and happiness.

1. Bring it to the open. Talk to a friend or relative that you fully trust about your fears, pain, disappointment or anguish. Acknowledge how you feel. If you must, then cry or scream to get it out of you system. You need to release all those pent-up emotions but in a harmless manner.

• You can only get over your past by opening about your feelings. And when you’ve uttered them, let go and never entertain the thought of them again. It won’t be easy but there is no other way you can break away from the past.

2. Write in a journal. Journaling is a great way to express your self freely, honestly and openly. Even if you misspell the words, defy grammar rules, or be illogical, who cares? You are writing only for yourself and for no one else. So write anything and everything that comes to your mind, straight from your heart.

• Putting your thoughts and feelings down into writing is a way to release and be free of your emotions.

3. Forgive. Forgiveness is something that not many people understand and appreciate. Forgiveness does not imply consent. Neither does it render the incident inconsequential.  The truth is forgiveness does not have anything to do with the other person.

Rather, forgiveness is about your decision to forsake vengeance or punishment. Forgiveness enables you to find closure and prepare your heart and your soul for the next chapter in your life.

• Forgiving is releasing the burden of pain, which you no longer have to carry. As you forgive, you exorcise the ghosts of the past and regain control of your life; you take charge of your future.

4. Seek professional help. You may want to seek guidance from a therapist or a life coach. Most of the time, we find it difficult to reveal ourselves to people with whom we are close. Sometimes, they can be too involved and fail to be objective in helping us process the pain.

• The non-personal relationship with a professional counselor makes disclosure of the problems much easier in the same way that people sometimes confide their deepest secret to a total stranger. Also, the therapist can introduce a whole new perspective which can be most helpful in moving forward.

5. Use alternative therapies. There are a number of techniques you can employ to modify your outlook and attitude. This change is necessary to let go of the past and forge ahead.

One such method is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It follows the principles of acupuncture but instead of needles, finger tips are used to tap on the meridian points in the upper body. EFT tapping helps you to get hold of your emotions.

• The tapping sequence is coordinated with the verbal expression of how you feel.  The process releases the energy that is blocked by the negative emotions.

Do remember that whatever happened in your past, you can always learn to let go so you can move on and live a life of joy and fulfillment.